Why to asexuals feels the need to come out?

There are, broadly speaking, three main reasons that asexuals feel like they need to come out.

First, contrary to what you might initially think, people really do care if you're asexual. Sex is a huge part of many societies and cultures, and it would naive to think that asexuals are somehow exempt from that social context just because they might not be interested in sex. For example, an in-the-closet asexual person might feel left out of a conversation with friends, or their family may say hurtful things without realising it. And of course, potential partners often need to know as well.

Second, it is inherently rewarding to be understood. When you're in the closet, there's a disconnect between your inner self, and the one you present to others. It can be cathartic to bring these different aspects of yourself into alignment. Being seen, and being able to express yourself are important for various factors of subjective well-being such as self-actualisation and agency. Just like any other aspect of life it's perfectly normal to want to share your experience with others.

Third, one of the primary problems facing asexuals in the modern world is that of invisibility. There are few things an asexual person can do that are more impactful in fighting this than being open about their sexuality. In fact, it's likely knowledge of asexuality, and especially that contact with out asexuals, has a reducing effect on anti-asexual bias [1]. This is in the same way that contact with homosexuals typically reduces anti-gay bias [1]. Many asexuals who discover asexuality from someone coming out, feel an obligation to do so themselves for the next person.

Asexuality isn't shameful, it's just a part of life. Of course people are going to talk about it.

See also