Why do asexual people have sex?
Asexual people might have sex for a variety of reasons. The most common one given is "I wanted to please my partner". Generally, while an allosexual person might have sex just because they feel like it's the thing to do, an asexual person will have sex because they have thought through what the pros / cons of the act might be. Those benefits may include enjoying the physical sensation, feeling close to one's partner, or as a relationship compromise, but that will vary from person to person.
According to the 2016 Asexual Community Survey [1, p.49], asexual people that do have sex give the following reasons for doing so:
- to please their partner (72.2%),
- they were romantically attracted (64.7%),
- to show affection (63.9%),
- they were curious about sex (54%),
- they desired emotional closeness (53.8%),
- to experience physical pleasure (50.5%),
- it seemed like the natural next step in their relationship (46.1%),
- they were sensually attracted (37.0%),
- they were aesthetically attracted (31.4%),
- they were sexually attracted (23.2%).
That last rate is in sharp contrast to non-asexual respondents, who rated sexual attraction as the top reason at 88.2%. Note that these percentages add up to more than 100% because each respondent was able to select as many options as they wanted.
- : Caroline Bauer et al (2018). 2016 Asexual Community Survey Summary Report, p. 33. Asexual Community Survey Team.